We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize