Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.

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(209): View more from California

We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

(1-209): View more from California

Duh.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.

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(770): View more from Georgia

We have started to decorate penises.

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(562): View more from California

How's moving going?

(1-562): View more from California

Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?

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