I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed