If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter