I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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