I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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