Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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