we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
