you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
