Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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