Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
