she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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