Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
