so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
