i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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