I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
