You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
