i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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