Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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