I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize