Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
