i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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