Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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