yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
