Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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