He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
