She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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