We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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