if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
