Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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