Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
