I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
