Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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