I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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