So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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