I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your shirt... Was in my pants
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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