i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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