god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
