I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
