Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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