ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
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