when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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