Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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