what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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