I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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