We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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