oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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