dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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