Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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