you would pick up someone in the library
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
