can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
