I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
