What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
