Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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