I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Girls should come with a carfax report
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
