mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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