So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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